And then you think its best to distance yourself, to not allow yourself to develop feelings, you become numb, numb to pain/feelings… you fear they’ll run when they realise the state of your mind and heart. I don’t blame them. Sometimes I feel like running away from myself.
there’s just so many sides to this and i don’t know how to deal with it all. i’m naturally not a very open person with deep-rooted issues, so it’s only things that are on the surface that i can really talk about. we recently got to talk things out and it has brought us closer, but at the same time, i’ve never been in a remotely serious relationship and it’s making me anxious. basically, everything he has to offer me is just so new to me that i’m completely overwhelmed.